Lost Another Job, YAY!

I'm aware that there hasn't been an update here for a while, there are good reasons for this. The biggest one being that I've lost my job and have had to scramble into action for a soft landing. This shouldn't come as a suprise though as employment is hard to keep once these symptoms kick in.

The worst thing I think is people can't get their head around it. Why am I so tired? Well it could be because I put a lot of effort in to my work and right now I feel tottaly exhuasted AND discarded as a toy that doesn't work because it needs new batteries. Always remember it's not a weakness to ask for help, it's a sign of self respect, but it really is poor when you can't help someone, who really needs it, particulary when it's so hard to say no and very easy to have said yes.

I'm trying the third way to stay above water; freelancing! Hoping this will give me the flexibility and outwright privacy I wasn't getting at work to cope with this condition. Doing the creative work that I do, means I don't have to be in certain environments to be successful. Homeworking was always a key part of my recovery (and a viable option for my type of work) and as that wasn't being offered, I couldn't stay no matter how much I wanted to carry on, I just wasn't being allowed to stay. So screw it, don't need it, I can do FAR better and I am :)

I'm not angry with Narcolpesy, I'm dead angry with the people who refused to adjust to it. It's not the first time, it won't be the last, but I might get diagnosed this time and have a name for it so people CAN understand, but I don't think people will. I just wish people would understand that letting me be is the best way. The "oh you don't look ill" comment speaks for itself really, I need not point out the ignroance here.

So what's next?
Anything and everything! This week I go to a proper sleep clinic to see proper experts and it has been a hard struggle to even get this far, to have someone suggest I have Narcolepsy is a huge leap forward. I've had to break down in tears to even get people to take it seriously. So once again my sadness isn't with Excessive Daytime Sleepiness, it's with the people who won't help me because they can't walk in my shoes for one sodding second and when they do, they think is hould cope fine because they get three nights of bad sleep and don't realise that's how I function all the frickin' time and there's no escape! Grrrrrr.